Hidan's Weakness
by Darkfire75
Summary: Crackfic...sorta. He blinked. His partner had the most f ed up weakness he had ever heard of. Rated for Hidan's mouth :P


_**Author's note: **__I blame this on boredom and looking at Hidan fanart pics. Seriously. So I hadn't planned on posting this online for others to see (cuz I consider it crap and not one of my best works), but my friends at the Hidan FC at the Naruto Forums said I should post it and let others read it. So here it is. I hate the ending. Inspiration left me just as I was finishing this up. _

_**Disclaimer: **__If I owned Naruto, Hidan and Kakuzu would still be alive and kicking ass (and lurving the kitties) XD_

* * *

Hidan had a weakness.

Kakuzu knew his partner had to have some sort of weakness. After spending nearly all his time around the religious man, he thought he understood him. But there was no way someone could understand Hidan. He was too…

"FUCKING A!"

…obnoxious. Kakuzu sighed heavily as he observed what his silver-haired partner had done this time. Hidan had a habit of dragging his scythe around on the ground and it just so happened that he had been dragging it when the blades got caught on a log. Kakuzu watched as Hidan attempted to yank and pull his weapon from the log's clutches. He was yelling and cursing the entire time.

"Swearing at the log is not going to make it loosen its hold on your scythe, Hidan," Kakuzu said.

"Fuck you!" He pulled some more, successfully making himself more tired than he had been. "Stupid fucking log. Why the hell can't someone clean this fucking forest, huh? Seriously."

Kakuzu tried to ignore him as he complained about why logs were in the forest to begin with. He went back to his previous thought: Hidan had a weakness…and he would find it.

Eventually, Hidan was able to get his scythe loose and he took great pleasure in stomping on the old, rotten log a few hundred times before it was just a bunch of splinters.

"Ha! Take that stupid log!" he cheered.

"Are you done now?" Kakuzu said irritably. "We've wasted valuable time."

"Shut up, Kakuzu. I'm trying to enjoy my victory here." There were more sounds of crashing and swearing and then Hidan stopped suddenly. Kakuzu looked up curiously. Hidan was crouched down looking at something. He walked over to his partner and found him staring at a…

"Meow."

…cat. Kakuzu glared heatedly at the back of Hidan's head, as if this would someone burn a hole in it. "Hidan," he growled.

"Here, kitty," his partner said softly, offering his hand to the cat.

"If you're just going to sacrifice it, I'm leaving."

Hidan turned around, looking appalled and horrified. "I'm not going to sacrifice the cat!" he cried. "Why kind of fucker kills cats?! Seriously."

Kakuzu was mildly surprised at Hidan's devotion to cats, though he'd never admit that out loud. "If you're not going to do anything to it, then let's leave."

"No."

"Excuse me?" His blood was starting to boil. Hidan was always indignant, and rude, and obnoxious. But this was ridiculous. Defying him over a cat? Jeez.

"I said no."

"…Why?"

Hidan shrugged and wiggled his finger at the cat, who reached to hold it. He seemed genuinely happy for once but Kakuzu was too pissed off at him to really care at the moment. "I'm going to kill something in the next 5 seconds," he warned. "And here's a hint: it's not going to be _you_."

"Fuck you, Kakuzu!"

Kakuzu's green eyes flashed and he extended his right hand to reach out and strangle the annoying cat only to find it gone. He blinked and looked around. Hidan had hurriedly picked the cat up and was currently snuggling the furry creature against his bare chest.

"_Hidan_…" he snarled warningly.

"Animal abuser," Hidan shot back. He was scratching the cat behind the ears as it purred.

Kakuzu could not think of anything else to say to him. His partner was infatuated with cats. Was that his weakness? Hidan was a cat lover? He glared at him angrily. "We are not taking that thing with us."

"I know that, asshole. I just wanted to play with it."

"…Play with it?"

Somehow, those words just didn't sound right coming from Hidan's mouth. "Yeah," Hidan replied. "I like cats."

"Why?"

"Why the fuck do you like money so much?" Hidan growled. "Answer me that and I'll answer your question."

Kakuzu clenched his fists, deciding he really didn't care to know why Hidan liked cats. "It's been scratching your chest, you know," he stated, noticing the small bloody scratch marks.

"I know. That's what I like most about cats." Hidan smirked and lifted the cat so that they were face to face. He nuzzled his nose against it before placing it down on the ground. He picked up his scythe from the ground and turned towards his partner. "We gonna go or what?"

_He likes cats because they scratch him?_ Kakuzu thought. Hidan: immortal religious-maniac and lover of cats. He blinked. His partner had the most fucked up weakness he had ever heard of.

* * *

_**Author's note: **This idea came from seeing countless amounts of Hidan fanart of him with cats. Really. And I was in the mood for writing crack apparently. _


End file.
